How to be a more attractive person: Four simple and effective methods to make people want to be in a relationship with you, and stay in a relationship with you

 

The best measure of how attractive you are is how much other people (including your partner) desire to be with you.

Are you attracting others?

Your mirror shows you what you see, but it doesn't show you what other's see. The way others see you has a lot to do with the way you treat them. This is why some people who don't appear physically attractive are very successful with both attracting and keeping partners, and why even physically beautiful people can have difficulty both attracting and keeping partners. Being beautiful can certainly get you stared at, but beyond that making relationships takes work just the same as for anyone else. The good news is that once you get in the habit of presenting yourself in a good way, you will remain beautiful (or handsome) year after year, with no prep time. Imagine all the doors that will open up for you.

 

The most attractive person I know has the figure of Santa Claus

He must be attractive because people young and old want to spend time with him, including his wife, children, grandchildren, students, friends, and even strangers. His name is Paul Holland. He is a psychologist and a pastor and I am fortunate enough to have him as my mentor. He has the figure of Santa Claus, an uncoordinated walk, wears heavy rimmed glasses, has thinning gray hair, and if his tie matches his jacket it’s probably an accident. But, If you could bottle what he has, everyone would like to buy some.

 

How does he do it?

In his mentoring, the amazing thing that I learned about this man was that although he had an impoverished background and many personal losses, he is a positive person. He has an infectious laugh that can be heard far down a hallway and a way of listening that shows you that he really cares. He taught me that although it is very handy to have the right tool for the right situation, it is the human element that attracts one person to another. Humans are attracted to people who are human. Men are attracted to women. Women are attracted to men. Working on being "human," a "man," or a "woman," will attract the best people. Women desire a "real" man, and men desire a "real" woman (remember, we are talking about relationships here!).

 

Being an attractive person is important for our most intimate relationships.

If you are seeking to make yourself more attractive to other people, the most important thing will not be your clothes (although neat is better), your body (though smell is important), your hair (though clean is better), or your face (although a genuine smile is a must). Regardless of your physique, you have the potential in you to become more attractive than Miss America or Mr. Universe. There are many men and women who would gladly trade their physically handsome man or beautiful woman for a truly attractive person (one who they want to be with because of how good they make them feel).

Partners stop being attractive when they no longer make their partner feel good about himself or herself

 

Here are a few methods for attracting others (including your partner)

1. LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN WHAT YOU JUST DID—What did you do well? What would you like to do again next time? What did you just do well at dinner, with greeting your partner, or at work? Carry a business card in your pocket with this question on the back, “What did I just do well?” Pull it out and answer it throughout the course of the day. Do not put the card back in your pocket before answering the question. If you are able to make yourself feel good, then you are able to make others feel good.

2. CREATE DELICIOUS SAMPLES FOR OTHERS—"What was my best quality as a child? Was I hard working? Honest? Friendly? Funny? Helpful?" "What do my friends like most about me?" Write it down on a piece of paper—“My best quality as a child was…” "People who know me well like my ...." Can you let that part out of yourself more often? The child part of ourselves often is the most attractive part. Although you may show this part in private with someone you are very comfortable with, showing this part at other times is important, too. People need to have good "samples" of you to think you have anything better than what they usually see. If you ate a free sample of something in a supermarket and it tasted really bad, would you want to buy it?

3. LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN OTHER PEOPLE—At a bus stop, can you find something you like about each person? What do you like about what your partner, your kids, or your dog did today? Can you let them know about it? How good can you get at spotting good things that people do? Make it a game or personal challenge. You get one point for noticing and five points for telling them about it. Keep track of your score on an index card and transfer it to a calendar at the end of each day. Have a contest with a friend. This is the game that pays more than a big win at Vegas.

4. LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN WHAT YOUR PARTNER DID IN THE PAST—People tire easily of hearing bad things about themselves, but you can tell them the same good things over and over. When you tell someone something good about what they have done, they become more attracted to you. Keep a running list of what you appreciate about your partner. Nothing is too small to go on this list. Make your partner feel like you are his or her number one fan. No one likes their critics, but everyone likes their fan club.

 

Do you see the three common themes in these recommendations?

1) look for the good 2) don’t look for the bad (ignore it, overlook it, bite your tongue), and 3) write it down. An index card is one of the most powerful tools for personal change. Memory is one of the worst. Relying on such simple, but effective tools is one of the secrets of the richest and most successful people in the world. They don't look for magic and quick fixes. They find out what works and then they do it. If it works for them, it can work for you, too. Your desire to learn this brought you to this article, the same desire can help you do this and draw your partner (or potential partner) closer.

Very few people accept the basic truths of these methods

That is a tremendous advantage for you. While they are focusing on trying to get others to notice them and treat them well, you can focus on noticing others and treating others well. Nothing satisfies people as much as giving them what they want. People don't go out into the world each day trying to get something for you. By giving to them (a smile, a laugh, attention, sincere praise, and especially your interest), you will become a people magnet. They will think about you in good ways and look forward to seeing you again.

 

If you need more help, get it

Being attractive is important for your personal and your professional life. Sales people get a lot of training on being attractive, because that is the most important consideration in getting new clients. Attractiveness is not something that you put on or make up when you need it. It either is or isn't part of your personality. If it isn't, get help with the way you approach, talk, and listen to others. Make it part of you. Spending one month working on this in coaching is one of the best gifts you can give to yourself, and your loved ones. It will give you more choices and the benefits will last a lifetime.