Are You Looking for the Perfect Way to Win Back His (or Her) Heart Without Putting Up with All the BS?
Jack Ito, PhD
Psychologist and Relationship Coach,
Author of What to Do When He Won't Change
I can show you how to transform these relationship-breaking situations into love-building situations:
The Slow Drain. Your relationship has been getting worse despite all attempts to make it better.
The Bombshell. Something happened to break the trust in your relationship.
The End of the Rope. You are thinking about divorce or breakup because you believe that improvement isn't possible.
The Minefield. Your partner's anger or irritability causes you to "walk on eggshells" and prevents you from getting closer.
The Unfair Situation. Your partner has become increasingly selfish (time, money, sex, etc.) to the point that you are considering needing to end your relationship.
Living with a Ghost. Your partner is withdrawn, avoidant, or sad around you, resisting communicating or being intimate with you, except when he or she "has to."
The Threat. Your partner has begun to talk about ending your relationship, threatened to leave, or already separated from you.
The Boomerang. Your attempts at counseling, either alone or together, made things better, but now the problems have come back.
My passion is in reconnecting couples with each other. I do this by helping men and women to:
- get their partner's attention
- increase their partner's desire
- build their partner's respect
- communicate deeply and freely
- work together to be One
Your relationship with your partner should be a source of meaning and joy.
No doubt, that's the way things used to be. As difficult as your relationship may seem right now, that is really what your partner would like to have, too. Partners don't create problems because they want to have a bad relationship. No one wants to have a bad relationship. He would rather get out of your relationship than have a bad one (and you would too, right?)
The reason he (or she) is still with you is that some part of him wants the relationship to work, too.
It can get really hard to connect with that part when there is a lot of BS (to put it nicely) getting in the way. So, to help yourself, and to help him too, you have to learn to deal with that BS. But, do you want to know a little secret? My client's actually think it is fun. Change happens fast, and it happens positively. What was not fun were all the hard ways that they used to be struggling with or fighting about problems. But, when we work together, the fighting stops. The struggle stops. And, you better believe it gets their partner's attention real fast.
There is no way to fight your way to a better relationship.
But, you don't have to. The main frustration that women have with the above relationship-killing situations is that they don't know what to do. They search the internet for solutions and come up with many ideas and a lot of advice. Most of it is full of contradictions. Some of it is very good, but even the best advice can't take you through the process of reconnecting and rebuilding. For every thing that you do or say, there are several different ways for him to respond. And, it's so easy for things to go wrong.
Before men and women come to me for help, they have tried their best.
And what they usually tell me is that they messed things up. They overreacted. Or, they realized that they let things slide for too long. Some of them tell me that they are just so confused. But, they all have two things in common. They don't want their relationship to continue the way it is, and they want to know, "Is it too late?"
If you love him (or her), or want to, it's not too late.
Feelings of love can come back for both of you, but they are not going to come back until you both stop fighting and start working on the same side. You don't have to rush the feelings of love--they will come back as long as your relationship is being rebuilt. And he doesn't have to start working on the relationship the same time that you do. You may need to learn how to have some break through communications and behaviors with him first.
I've been doing this for a long time.
I went to seminary for five years what seems like ages ago. I didn't go to become a pastor. I went because I wanted to learn how to integrate God's love and wisdom into my practice as a psychologist. I'm still not sure if I really learned that in seminary. My first inspiration for helping women to love their husbands by effectively dealing with their behavior came from Dr. James Dobson's book, Love Must Be Tough. Since then, I have further developed the methods of family therapy into a coaching model for dealing with even the most difficult of men.
You will never regret working on your relationship.
I can honestly say that in 18 years I have never had anyone regret hiring me. My goal is to provide the highest level of service, to exceed my clients' expectations, and to make each client feel like he or she is my most important client. I am accessible when my clients need me, and they get personalized help and materials. If you want this level of service for yourself, I recommend you review the options for coaching and get started with one session. Included with that is a whole week of services. It could be the start of a new and better relationship with your partner.
